In a recent 2019 survey, married mothers and mothers in an existing partnership were asked who takes on most of the tasks and duties related to the household, organization, and child-rearing in the family. In the process, 62% of the women stated that they have less than one hour of time for themselves per day. A circumstance that doesn't really fit into the 21st century and leaves us feeling quite perplexed as well.
Single parenting despite having a partner: Out of step with the times
Motherhood is arguably the most demanding job in the world and requires a lot from women. Regardless of the number of children, employment status, or relationship status, mothers have almost no time for themselves during the first ten years of a child's life. This means that even an existing partnership brings women hardly any relief.
On the contrary: A long-term study from 2003–2012 at the University of
Maryland and Southern California showed that married women actually did more housework than single mothers and also got even less sleep.
Why is that?
Contrary to popular belief, it remains the case to this day that married mothers generally handle all the tasks arising in the family themselves. Researchers suspect the reason for this anachronism is that many married couples are still victims of traditional gender roles. But how is it that married mothers in particular often feel obligated to achieve even more than their single counterparts?
Fathers want to be more involved
Now, it is by no means the case that no social change has taken place. In fact, fathers certainly want to take on more at home and some apply for paternity leave, but the problems are largely structural: In many cases, social norms and the working world (e.g., in the form of long working hours) still stand in their way. As a result, married mothers take more initiative regarding cooking, the household, or child-rearing as well as the organization of family life out of pure pragmatism – someone has to do it.
According to the study, married mothers spend about 32 minutes more on household chores every day than single parents. Furthermore, they have an average of 10 minutes less free time and even sleep 13 minutes less per night. This might not seem like much at first glance, but it adds up over time.
It goes without saying that these calculated average figures by no means reflect the reality of every family. Nevertheless, they point to an imbalance that can shake our belief in the supposedly achieved equality between men and women. Are women with partners simply more burdened because an additional person lives in the household and therefore more work naturally arises?
Conclusion
Contrary to what one might think, a partnership does not automatically bring relief to a mother. Often the exact opposite is the case, and the mother's workload tends to increase even more in a life partnership. Usually, mothers spend significantly more time caring for the children than the partner. Furthermore, in the vast majority of cases, they are primarily responsible for family organization and housework.
Of course, there has been social progress in the past. The working world has become more flexible, men can now also take parental leave in the first three years of the child's life, and the image of the genders is still undergoing constant change. However, this change also has its downsides, such as the fact that women today are subject to social and self-expectations to also pursue a professional career. This double burden of caring for children and being successful at work at the same time can hardly be absorbed by the aforementioned flexibilization of the working world. The path to a fair distribution of tasks in raising children is still long, and as a society, we will sooner or later have to find the answers that we could not provide in this article.
What is beyond doubt for us, however: Mothers give us the next generation and perform almost superhuman feats in the process. To us, you are heroines!
A small ray of hope at the end
Despite all the unresolved problems, we can make a small contribution to the relief of parents with our swing2sleep – whoever takes over the childcare in your home. Through the up and down bouncing, the swing2sleep gives your child a wonderful feeling of security. It feels absolutely safe due to the physical boundaries and is simultaneously protected from sensory overload.
With the swing2sleep, you also have time for a breather to take a breath and clear your head. Furthermore, you gain valuable time in which you know your child is sleeping safely and you can take care of other things that also need to be done. In this way, the swing2sleep can become a valuable helper for you in everyday life.
